spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
