It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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