You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
