Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
