I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
