biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
