just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
