let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
