To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
