I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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