I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
