I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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