May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
