just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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