Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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