Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
