I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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