Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
