I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
