i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
