That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
