Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
