i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
