I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
where are you?
Hypothermia
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
