You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
