did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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