I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
