we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize