I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
