Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
