My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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