It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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