Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
