one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
