i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
