Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
