I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
