It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver just had a heart attack.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
