I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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