worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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