On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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