Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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