Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
