She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
