She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
