So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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