I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
sarcasm needs its own font
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
