Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
