should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
