I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize