Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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