Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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