Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
