so explain again why im purple
no
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize