I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
