Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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