ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize