He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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