my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
