Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
